“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” -Arthur Golden

I had a dream the other night that I was talking to my Grandma (my dad’s mom that passed away when I was in high school). She was asking me about Jasper and then she started talking about the Chicago Cubs (her favorite team). Wherever she was, the ‘ol Cubbies were doing good.

I’m not really into sports. I don’t really care to watch much if any. I do however, like the Cubs. It is simply because I was born into it. My dad is a Cubs fan. As was his mom and his grandma… Liking the Cubs feels like home. It’s comfortable and natural even though I have absolutely no idea who the starting pitcher is or what their record is so far.

We joke around a lot with friends who like different teams, mainly Cards or White Sox fans. You know, like their team is the worst or only dorks like that team. However, as a Cubs fan, there is a certain amount of room other fans give you out of respect. I mean, they play on one of the most historic places in all of baseball, they haven’t won a World Series in over a century, and the future only ever gets dimmer after August. So it’s plain to see that trash talk by Cubs fans is generally shrugged off.

What I really don’t understand the people who constantly talk about everyone else’s team and how much they “suck”. With everything posted about their team, they will also post something negative about some other team. I don’t get that. It’s one thing to joke with friends but to disparage another team out of pure nastiness… I guess I don’t have it in me to be that negative. I just think we need to have a little more class than that.

I can’t help but feel protective of the Cubs. They’re my team. When I think of them I think of my grandma and great grandma, and that makes me happy. I know they would both smile with such pride if they saw Jasper wearing his Cubs hat and loudly exclaiming, “Go Cubbies”. Maybe this will be “our year”…

Josh went up to check on Jasper after putting him down for a nap. He had gotten a laundry basket out of another room, put it on his bed and was pretending to be a bus driver. His stuffed animals were in the front.

The other day I asked him to stop touching something and he didn’t listen. So I repeated my request, a little stronger. He still didn’t stop. Finally I said, “Jasper, stop, stop, stop!”. He looks at me and very seriously said, “I just can’t help it!”.

While eating supper yesterday, Jasper exclaimed: “Mommy! You are the best pancake maker ever!”.

Walking past the bathroom one evening, I spied a pair of little boy undies crumpled on the floor. I yelled downstairs to Jasper, “Are you wearing undies?”. There was silence for a bit and then he hesitantly answered, “Um…no?”

He informed me that he would be asking for a cat for Christmas. Oh and also a computer.

Every day I’m thankful I get a front row seat for the Jasper show.

Josh says I have a bleeding heart. You know the term, right? Someone that is excessively sympathetic. I also consider it someone that wants to help everyone. I used to get picked on when I was younger because I befriended the left out kids. I couldn’t stand to see them standing alone so I would make an effort to include them. In high school there was a girl that wasn’t well off. In fact, she never really smelled that good. So of course, she got made fun of a lot. I would try to ignore her standing alone but my heart would start hurting. The guilt would kick in so over I’d walk to visit with her.

The other night I heard someone say they were a collector of wounded birds. Meaning they often became friends with people who needed help or that he felt needed help. I also tend to do this. One of my closest high school friends would show up at my door sobbing about her complete loser boyfriend. I continually tried to fix the situation for her (though as any high school girl in love would do, she didn’t listen). I often talk to my friends and do what I call “mothering”. I just can’t help myself. Some of them just need it.

Sunday night I went to bed with a tightness in my chest so painful I could barely breath. Friends and family members are going through some serious stuff right now. And I can’t do a thing about it. I can’t fix the situation. I don’t even feel like I can help. I just have to stand by waiting with a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. I will just continue to try and be there for them the best way that I know how. I’m glad I’m a “bleeding heart” even though it can be overwhelming at times. I decided I should own it. I’m sure there’s some others out there. (I know for a fact my brother is one.) All I can think of is the scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas where the Grinch says, “Bleeding hearts of the world unite”.

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” -John Green

Finally Android users got Instagram! I’ve been waiting F-O-R-E-V-E-R. It is such an easy way to snap pictures from my phone and share them. If you’re on Instagram, you can check out my feed under kimberlyknight.

Jasper was digging around in his sock drawer the other day and came across a bow tie. The bow tie had been Josh’s when he was a little guy. He asked if he could wear it and I told him of course but he would need to wear a different shirt. (He was wearing a tee and you can’t really clip on a bow tie to that.)

So the next morning he remembered right away. I got out a button down shirt and clipped on the tie. I half expected Jasper to pull it off within a few minutes. He wore that bow tie the whole day. Combine that with his new hat that he insisted on wearing…well, he looked ridiculously cute. We ran some errands in town that day and the comments were priceless. Jasper just smiled like it was no big deal and would say “thank you” to each one.

He informed me yesterday that he liked his bow tie and would like a yellow one. I’m going to attempt to sew a couple for him so we’ll see how that goes. I can definitely deal with this clothing choice. He’s such an interesting three year old.

A few weeks ago a realtor came and put a For Sale sign in our yard. We officially listed our house. Let’s back up a little because you might be thinking whoa, where did this come from? When we bought this house just four years ago we thought we’d live here forever. It was a good size for us with room to grow. It’s a nice location in town and we were happy living in this little town. It feels like just yesterday this was us.

The past couple years have been tough for my family. We’ve been through some things that left us feeling like it’s time to move forward. We need a change, a fresh start. For the past year Josh and I have been talking about moving to a nearby town that is much bigger. We’re there so much given that our town of 1,400 has basically only a library and a post office. The more we thought about it, the more a bigger city appealed to us. The grocery store, movie theater, kid activities, church, our friends…all there.

So now we wait and hope that everything lines up. It’s so incredibly scary to make the leap. It’s also a little sad because we have so many incredible memories in this house. For the most part though we’re excited. Excited to start a new adventure and to see where life takes us. Anxious to leave behind the past and rough parts of the last couple years…on to bigger and better things!