deep thoughts

I tweeted this article the other day about how to deal with copycats and idea thieves. Number 3 really struck a chord with me. “Go where the air is thinner. As you advance your body of work into deeper levels of depth and connection, the copycats simply won’t be able to coherently follow you; and, even when they can, they won’t because it’s too hard. Combine depth of work with your own unique voice and it’ll be impossible for people to successfully copy you.”

I can’t do anything about that uncreative person that has chosen me to copy. I can however, do something about my own work. I have to just keep creating and doing it that much better than they ever could. That’s one of the great things about the 365 Project that I’m doing. I realized that I’m making an effort to MAKE a picture, not just take one.

Yesterday’s picture was something completely different for me. Slightly “racy”, something I thought up and created. (Thankfully I have a husband who is willing to play along for me.) I was actually on the phone with my mom when she saw it for the first time. That was the highlight of my day. “Oh my gosh. Kimberly! Oh my goodness!” I love my little momma.

Sometimes a picture comes together just how I see it in my head. Other times it’s trial and error. The key is to take my ideas and run with them. Not be scared to post pictures that are different for me (like yesterday’s shot). I’ve got to keep moving up where I can’t be reached by people “nipping at my heels”.

*This was written Tuesday evening but I held off posting it until this morning so I could blackout my site in protest of SOPA/PIPA. If you haven’t already, please consider taking action against this censorship.

As I type this my house is quiet. It’s 11pm. Jasper is asleep and Josh is at work. I just finished watching tonight’s episode of Parenthood. It’s one of those evenings that I feel reflective and just a tad bit sad for no reason.

I hate that as an adult I still have that “left out” feeling. I seriously never dreamt that it would still continue into adulthood. People that technically are “supposed” to include me don’t. It’s not really a big deal except for when I’m reminded continually on Facebook. I’m sure they don’t think that my feelings would be hurt when I’m not tagged in a status even though I should be. Or how there are always pictures of their kids together and mine isn’t there… It’s just hard.

I get sad when bloggers get divorced or split with their significant other. It’s usually one of those “I didn’t see that one coming” thing because obviously I don’t see their entire life. Even though I don’t know them in real life I’m always really sad about it.

Making friends as an adult is not an easy thing. Have you noticed that? I’ve been a little skittish because of a recent bad experience. Suddenly a friend decided not to like me anymore which is weird because we’re not eight. Mostly I beat myself up about it because I feel like I should have seen it coming. I overlooked red flags that I shouldn’t have. So now I’m scared to make friends but thankfully my husband isn’t. We’ve hung out a few times with a new couple recently. Clients turned friends seems to be the trend for me. After doing some pictures for them a couple months ago Josh asked if they liked a specific restaurant. They did and thought going out to eat would be fun. (Yay!) After we set up a time I joked with Josh that he asked them out. I’m so glad he did because it turns out we get along really well and we’re excited to have new friends. I just decided that I can’t let a bad experience ruin future amazing experiences. That’s how life goes.

Though sometimes I feel like I just don’t understand life I do know this… I am lucky to have this boy and this man. They make me smile and love me in a way I didn’t know possible.

Thought I would repost one of my favorite Martin Luther King Jr. quotes in honor of his day. I got to hear a powerful (and convicting) tribute to him yesterday. What an amazing man and what a legacy… Peace is a better answer. Love your enemy, no matter how they continue to hurt you. The time is now to do what is right.

On Monday evening, Josh and I had the opportunity to hear Levar Burton speak at ISU. First, let me just say that I was thoroughly impressed by his ability to tell a story and engage an audience. (Though that didn’t really surprise me.) It was really a wonderful experience. I have always liked him, ever since Reading Rainbow and later Star Trek (Josh would like me to note that it’s The Next Generation, not just “Star Trek”. What a nerd).

Mr. Burton’s emphasis on storytelling, particularly imagination and thought, was very compelling. He mentioned that it was his belief that all people deserve to have their humanity respected, which really resonated with me. He said even those with whom he was angry with or disagreed with at a very fundamental level still deserved respect. Wow, powerful stuff.

He spoke a lot on thought and the power it has to make positive change. It’s his assertion that thought is the most powerful force there is. It’s rather hard to disagree with that. He said that we each have it in us to make our reality, to shape it with our mind. Manifest our desires. Thought is “this close” to becoming reality.

Needless to say, I loved it. I was so glad Josh had the night off work and was totally into it too. I’m glad we’re a couple that can enjoy this type of thing together. If you ever have the opportunity to see/hear Levar Burton, I highly recommend it. Oh and I nearly forgot, he mentioned that they’re talking about bringing Reading Rainbow back…can I get a Woot?!

I’ve been reading a book called The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo every day now for awhile. The book is broken up into short one page essays for each day of the year. There was one called “The Spider and the Sage” and it has really resonated me. I’ve been dealing with someone for 8 years now that continually “stings” me though I keep trying. Just recently I had decided that I was done trying. What’s the point? I only get hurt. And then I read this essay… So I’ve been reading it every so often trying to remind myself that to live a kind life I need to be like the Sage and keep helping the spider (even when I don’t want to). I typed it out to share with you. Hopefully you’ll find it as poignant as I did.

The Spider and the Sage

In India, there is a story about a kind, quiet man who would pray in the Ganges River every morning. One day after praying, he saw a poisonous spider struggling in the water and cupped his hands to carry it ashore. As he placed the spider on the ground, it stung him. Unknowingly, his prayers for the world diluted the poison.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day, the kind man was knee deep in the river, and, sure enough, there was the spider, legs frantic in the water. As the man went to lift the creature yet again, the spider said, “Why do you keep lifting me? Can’t you see I will sting you every time, because that is what I do.” And the kind man cupped his hands about the spider, replying, “Because that is what I do.”

There are many reasons to be kind, but perhaps none is as compelling as the spiritual fact that it is what we do. It is how the inner organ of being keeps pumping. Spiders sting. Wolves howl. Ants build small hills that no one sees. And human beings lift each other, no matter the consequence. Even when other beings sting.

Some say this makes us a sorry lot that never learns, but to me it holds the same beauty as berries breaking through ice and snow every spring. It is what quietly feeds the world. After all, the berries do not have any sense of purpose or charity. They are not altruistic or self-sacrificing. They simply grow to be delicious because that is what they do.

As for us, if things fall, we will reach for them. If things break, we will try to put them together. If loved ones cry, we will try to sooth them – because that is what we do. I have often reached out, and sometimes it feels like a mistake. Sometimes, like the quiet man lifting the spider, I have been stung. But it doesn’t matter, because that is what I do. That is what we do. It is the reaching out that is more important than the sting.

Pg. 20 The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo

So have you watched the new show on TLC called Sister Wives? I happened to catch the first episode and was very intrigued. The show follows a guy and his three wives through the process of him dating and marrying a fourth wife. I think they’re going to be on Oprah today.

Now here’s my question…why does polygamy have to be illegal? Now I’m not talking about child brides, dangerous situations, keeping someone against their will. I’m talking about families like this one that have chosen this for their life. Each wife specifically said that she wanted it and chose it. Ignoring any religious reasons people protest (because they too believe their religion allows it). So what is so wrong about it? They have decided to live this way so why shouldn’t they be allowed to?

As for me, I can’t imagine sharing my husband. I barely want to share him with his job, let alone another woman. And it was a little difficult to understand how they could want that life. However, I guess I just don’t see the harm in this as they are intelligent consenting adults.

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness & understanding you can muster, & do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” -Og Mandino

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the whole blogging thing. I first started my blog during the planning stages of my wedding. It was an easy way to keep my friends in the loop about what we were doing. After Josh and I got married, I kept up the blog. It was just something fun for me to do. As I got into photography it became a way to share my pictures and thoughts with them.

I had someone recently say to me that they would never blog or tweet; they were just a private person. The way it was said made me feel like blogging was such a horrible thing. Although I do write about very personal things I don’t share every thought that crosses through my mind (nobody wants to hear all those). I still have private thoughts and private things in my life.

Blogging has been such a good experience for me. I really have made some good friends through this. But mostly I do this for me… So although I have lost a bit of steam with this little blog, I do hope to get back to it regularly. Let’s face it, I’m a “wear my heart on my sleeve” kind of person…not so much a private person. I much prefer to be an open book or open blog as the case may be.

“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” -G. K. Chesterton

Over the weekend I was in the Target checkout lane with my boys.  Jasper was determined to throw something out of the cart and Josh disappeared for a few minutes.  The man in front of me was buying only a box of donuts and used a gift card.  I glanced up as the checkout girl told him the card was 34 cents short.  Picking up the book Jasper just tossed on the floor, I looked again to see the man apologize and push the donuts back on the counter.  He left without purchasing anything.  I was so confused by what happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to react.  Of course I had 34 cents in my wallet that I could have given that man.  After we checked out I looked around outside for him but he was nowhere to be seen.  Ugh, I kicked myself all day for missing that opportunity.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can help other people, especially in my area.  It’s funny because we are so tight on money right now and yet I’m more aware of how much we still have.  That man could not afford to buy donuts for under three dollars.  We still splurge on Starbucks occasionally.  I feel very lucky to live in a nice house and we’re able to get groceries when we need to.  Sure, there have been times lately where we have close to no money in the checking but I know payday will eventually come.  I know that months down the road we’ll somehow be back on our feet again.  How long will it take that man to get on his feet?