baby love

I can remember my dad and brother shooting off rockets when we were younger. They would get the rocket ready, putting in the engine and paper towels to protect the parachute. Then came the time to study how hard the wind was blowing and which way. If you didn’t shoot the rocket at the right direction you would be traipsing through neighbors’ yards. There were many treks out into the corn field to fetch the rocket. They would finally fire the rocket and we would watch it blast into the air. Crossing our fingers that the parachute would deploy, the rocket would start it’s descent. We’d all hold our breath as it came closer to landing.

Josh, my dad and Jasper shot off a few rockets over the weekend. Jasper thinks it’s pretty much the coolest thing ever. The first one went straight up and Jasper yelled, “OH. MY. GOODNESS. SAKE.”. We lucked out and a few landed right in our yard so Jasper could retrieve them. Last year one ended up in our neighbor’s tree for most of the winter. Another just vanished. We lost that one in the sky and it was never seen again.

When Josh bought Jasper a rocket last year we decided to shoot it in my parent’s backyard. They live right next to a ball diamond and corn field so there is a lot of open space. Shooting off rockets will hopefully be such a fun memory for Jasper. And I really like that the memory will include my old backyard where I watched many rockets blast off and float back down.

I had a dream the other night that I was talking to my Grandma (my dad’s mom that passed away when I was in high school). She was asking me about Jasper and then she started talking about the Chicago Cubs (her favorite team). Wherever she was, the ‘ol Cubbies were doing good.

I’m not really into sports. I don’t really care to watch much if any. I do however, like the Cubs. It is simply because I was born into it. My dad is a Cubs fan. As was his mom and his grandma… Liking the Cubs feels like home. It’s comfortable and natural even though I have absolutely no idea who the starting pitcher is or what their record is so far.

We joke around a lot with friends who like different teams, mainly Cards or White Sox fans. You know, like their team is the worst or only dorks like that team. However, as a Cubs fan, there is a certain amount of room other fans give you out of respect. I mean, they play on one of the most historic places in all of baseball, they haven’t won a World Series in over a century, and the future only ever gets dimmer after August. So it’s plain to see that trash talk by Cubs fans is generally shrugged off.

What I really don’t understand the people who constantly talk about everyone else’s team and how much they “suck”. With everything posted about their team, they will also post something negative about some other team. I don’t get that. It’s one thing to joke with friends but to disparage another team out of pure nastiness… I guess I don’t have it in me to be that negative. I just think we need to have a little more class than that.

I can’t help but feel protective of the Cubs. They’re my team. When I think of them I think of my grandma and great grandma, and that makes me happy. I know they would both smile with such pride if they saw Jasper wearing his Cubs hat and loudly exclaiming, “Go Cubbies”. Maybe this will be “our year”…

Josh went up to check on Jasper after putting him down for a nap. He had gotten a laundry basket out of another room, put it on his bed and was pretending to be a bus driver. His stuffed animals were in the front.

The other day I asked him to stop touching something and he didn’t listen. So I repeated my request, a little stronger. He still didn’t stop. Finally I said, “Jasper, stop, stop, stop!”. He looks at me and very seriously said, “I just can’t help it!”.

While eating supper yesterday, Jasper exclaimed: “Mommy! You are the best pancake maker ever!”.

Walking past the bathroom one evening, I spied a pair of little boy undies crumpled on the floor. I yelled downstairs to Jasper, “Are you wearing undies?”. There was silence for a bit and then he hesitantly answered, “Um…no?”

He informed me that he would be asking for a cat for Christmas. Oh and also a computer.

Every day I’m thankful I get a front row seat for the Jasper show.

Jasper was digging around in his sock drawer the other day and came across a bow tie. The bow tie had been Josh’s when he was a little guy. He asked if he could wear it and I told him of course but he would need to wear a different shirt. (He was wearing a tee and you can’t really clip on a bow tie to that.)

So the next morning he remembered right away. I got out a button down shirt and clipped on the tie. I half expected Jasper to pull it off within a few minutes. He wore that bow tie the whole day. Combine that with his new hat that he insisted on wearing…well, he looked ridiculously cute. We ran some errands in town that day and the comments were priceless. Jasper just smiled like it was no big deal and would say “thank you” to each one.

He informed me yesterday that he liked his bow tie and would like a yellow one. I’m going to attempt to sew a couple for him so we’ll see how that goes. I can definitely deal with this clothing choice. He’s such an interesting three year old.

I was talking to a friend recently about having more kids. They only have one and are also undecided if they will have another. She said, “I feel like though we are already behind in having a second”. Meaning, most people have started on a second by the age our firsts are at. And most people expect you to have another child by now.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Why is it that most people just assume a couple will have more than one child? What’s so bad about just one child? Here are things I hear regularly: “Jasper needs a playmate.” “About time for another!” I find this so presumptuous. I mean, what if we had been trying to get pregnant for the past year and a half and it wasn’t happening.

Honestly, we have no idea if we’re going to have any more children. Most days lately I’m leaning towards no. And you know what, I think that’s okay. I really think having one child isn’t a bad thing. People assume they’ll be spoiled but I know that won’t be the case for us.

There are a lot of benefits to only having one. We’d be able to provide more for Jasper. Let’s say we have a set amount of money for a college fund. If we have two or three kids, it would be split between all of them. If we just have Jasper, he would get all of that. There’s also the ease of one child. Josh and I would never be outnumbered. We’d be able to travel easier (not that you can’t travel with more than one kid, just easier with one).

Of course, I think how great Jasper would be as a big brother. And for me, there’s also the pull for a large family, especially thinking about when I’m older and my kids would be having kids (ala Parenthood).

I think the hardest part about all of this is just not knowing. Not knowing for sure what is the best for our family. Really that’s all we want to do…what’s best for us. So we wait and see knowing that whatever we decide is okay, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Jasper and I are both feeling better! We even got outside for a bit yesterday. Jasper was especially excited that my mom and dad got out his Jeep. We even turned the speed up to full power now that he has better control of it. It’s great to see him back to his happy, ornery self.