late night thoughts

17:366 some evenings are just like this

*This was written Tuesday evening but I held off posting it until this morning so I could blackout my site in protest of SOPA/PIPA. If you haven’t already, please consider taking action against this censorship.

As I type this my house is quiet. It’s 11pm. Jasper is asleep and Josh is at work. I just finished watching tonight’s episode of Parenthood. It’s one of those evenings that I feel reflective and just a tad bit sad for no reason.

I hate that as an adult I still have that “left out” feeling. I seriously never dreamt that it would still continue into adulthood. People that technically are “supposed” to include me don’t. It’s not really a big deal except for when I’m reminded continually on Facebook. I’m sure they don’t think that my feelings would be hurt when I’m not tagged in a status even though I should be. Or how there are always pictures of their kids together and mine isn’t there… It’s just hard.

I get sad when bloggers get divorced or split with their significant other. It’s usually one of those “I didn’t see that one coming” thing because obviously I don’t see their entire life. Even though I don’t know them in real life I’m always really sad about it.

Making friends as an adult is not an easy thing. Have you noticed that? I’ve been a little skittish because of a recent bad experience. Suddenly a friend decided not to like me anymore which is weird because we’re not eight. Mostly I beat myself up about it because I feel like I should have seen it coming. I overlooked red flags that I shouldn’t have. So now I’m scared to make friends but thankfully my husband isn’t. We’ve hung out a few times with a new couple recently. Clients turned friends seems to be the trend for me. After doing some pictures for them a couple months ago Josh asked if they liked a specific restaurant. They did and thought going out to eat would be fun. (Yay!) After we set up a time I joked with Josh that he asked them out. I’m so glad he did because it turns out we get along really well and we’re excited to have new friends. I just decided that I can’t let a bad experience ruin future amazing experiences. That’s how life goes.

Though sometimes I feel like I just don’t understand life I do know this… I am lucky to have this boy and this man. They make me smile and love me in a way I didn’t know possible.

Author: kimberly on Thursday, January 19, 2012 6:05 am
4 responses to “late night thoughts”
  1. Jaimie Majerczyk says:

    I totally agree Kimberly…it’s hard to make friends as an adult. We’ve so enjoyed hanging out with you guys. Looking forward to our next date! ;-D

  2. Sondra says:

    Or sometimes you make friends and they come live with you, and then they move away to Nashville and maybe even farther away than that. But they still DO love you, and will always remember that you helped give them the courage to live bravely and be all that they could be. Um, for instance. ;)

  3. Eunice says:

    It’s a relief that someone else feels this way. In HS, I was on the cheer squad. I was the odd man out because the girls didn’t like me and excluded me from EVERYTHING.

    Now, 15 years later, I share a studio with four other people and three of them make the other two of us feel exactly the same way on a daily basis. I really expected that people would grow out of their childish ways, but I guess not.

    But it’s also comforting to know that you have friends that you’ve never met that are always there to lift you up, let you cry and will never exclude you from anything. :)

  4. carmel says:

    making friends as an adult is like dating all over again! Except it’s even harder because it really helps if your spouse gets along with them, too. So there are four people who have to be in (general) agreement!
    good luck with finding friends–hopefully the ones you meet now will be with you for the long haul. :)

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