I’m still in shock. I seriously never imagined that Josh could lose his job. Yes, we have had a lot of issues with his job. And sure, no job is completely secure. But when I say that he kept the entire place running, I’m not exaggerating. He could almost never be without his work phone. I forgot what life was like before that phone. Constantly worrying that he is going to be called in because something major broke. It has been weird the past few days trying to remind myself that he will not be called in. We’re trying to let ourselves enjoy it. We’ve even decided to go on a date tomorrow. Probably not the best financial idea we’ve had but I think it’s necessary. Dinner and a movie to relax…plus no work phone!
It’s hard though because now we have to figure out what we’re going to do. I have really been trying not to let myself think about it. Not to think about the bills, money, or what it will mean for him to have a new job. What if he has to work nights? What will I do when he has to drive our one good vehicle because his new job is out of town? What if the new job doesn’t pay enough to support us? How could I even begin to look for a job and consider leaving Jasper every day?
Honestly, I am really trying to stay positive. For the most part I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job of keeping my you-know-what together. At the end of 2010 I said that things had to start looking up for us. It was such a terrible year and it was over. We’ve hit the bottom now. Time to start going up.