So have you watched the new show on TLC called Sister Wives? I happened to catch the first episode and was very intrigued. The show follows a guy and his three wives through the process of him dating and marrying a fourth wife. I think they’re going to be on Oprah today.
Now here’s my question…why does polygamy have to be illegal? Now I’m not talking about child brides, dangerous situations, keeping someone against their will. I’m talking about families like this one that have chosen this for their life. Each wife specifically said that she wanted it and chose it. Ignoring any religious reasons people protest (because they too believe their religion allows it). So what is so wrong about it? They have decided to live this way so why shouldn’t they be allowed to?
As for me, I can’t imagine sharing my husband. I barely want to share him with his job, let alone another woman. And it was a little difficult to understand how they could want that life. However, I guess I just don’t see the harm in this as they are intelligent consenting adults.
I have been watching Sister Wives too. (I’m glad to find out they’ll be on Oprah). I am kinda thinking, if they’re not hurting anyone, why not let them marry? Who cares? If we’re worried about the impact that’ll have on our children (seeing polygamy), then as their parents, it’s our responsibility to teach them our beliefs. If we think polygamy is wrong, then we need to teach our kids about it. And, another thought, a family committed and full of love is a good thing… it’s better than some of the crazy, disfunctional families that are out there. Like you said though, definitely not the lifestyle for me! I couldn’t share my husband. I can only hope though that these people will support their children in the marriage model they choose – polygamy or monogamy.
completely agree, both with the post and Bri’s comment. in fact, to throw out another controversial topic, i feel the same way about gay marriage. just because it isn’t within my faith doesn’t give me the right to make it illegal, again with the same stipulations as any marriage…consenting adults and so on.
Read “Under the Banner of Heaven” by Jon Krakauer, and you will have a better understanding of the dangers of plural marriages and religious fundamentalism. Plural marriages are not always as rosy as they appear on television.
Thank you for your comments!
Grant – I’ll take a look at that book. However, monogamous marriages aren’t as rosy as they appear either. What I’m questioning is when people choose that lifestyle and feel that it works best for them. Why should people make that illegal just because they don’t agree with it?
Brandon & I just watched this last night for the first time. On a male comical opinion…Brandon said “Holy Cow! I’d hate to see the credit card statements that come with having 3 wives.” Ha!
But anyway..Just because people don’t understand it or it doesn’t fall into their belief system, it does not make it illegal. I am socially liberal. One love people! :) People are scared that gay parents will raise gay children…um..even if your religious beliefs feel this is wrong…look how many STRAIGHT parents raised gay children. To me that is not an argument. To each their own. I know plenty of people who do not belong together & have terrible marriages that effect their whole family but are still married because of religious traditions & beliefs.
I have trouble with polygamy because I live very near to Bountiful (in BC. Wiki it) and I see how unhealthy it can be. I’m not saying that people aren’t in unhealthy monogamous relationships too, but polygamy tends to be very patriarchal and doesn’t tend to be in the best interests of women. You could also read Keep Sweet which is a memoir from Bountiful.
Oh my gosh, I got sucked in to that show the other night and watched 2-1/2 hours of it! I was so intrigued at the whole prospect, because, as you said, I really wanted to try to understand why a woman would want to share their husband with anyone other than their child, let alone three other wives and their children.
But I have to agree with you, as it is the same way that I feel about gay marriage, in that if that is the person (or persons) someone wants to commit their life to, why should our government have any say? I’m sure that just as with a monogamous marriage, there are plenty of challenges to overcome, but these folks make it work.