I have a pink and gray striped t-shirt that I’ve been wearing all summer. I got it for a few bucks at Old Navy in the Spring and it soon became a favorite. Comfy but not sloppy. It ended up at the bottom of my shirt pile a month or two ago when I finally pulled it out last week. I put it on and went to the mirror. Hm…it just didn’t look right. So I changed my shirt and went on with my day. I tried it on a few days later and was confused when it just didn’t seem like the same shirt. I took it off and threw it in the corner of my room.
The other day I was in need of a shirt since it was laundry day. I noticed the pink and gray shirt in the corner of my room so I grabbed it feeling relieved that I had something decent clean. I put it on and went to the mirror to finish getting ready. Again I looked in the mirror and knew that it didn’t look right. And that’s when I realized…I had worn that shirt the day of my D and E. It didn’t look right because in the back of my mind I knew when I wore it last.
I can remember standing in the hotel bathroom the morning of my procedure. I thought, I wonder what other women wear to have this type of procedure done. That will always be the shirt I wore the day I woke up pregnant and went to sleep not pregnant. For now it sits in a crumpled pile on my floor. A reminder that I don’t want but can’t seem to throw out.
Kimberly, I still remember what I was wearing as well… I remember thinking the same exact things. I haven’t worn it since, but it still hangs in my closet. Thinking of you…
<3 it is where is needs to be for now.
The thing I hate about grief is that the smallest, most unexpected things trigger the reminders of what we’re trying to tuck away.
Thinking of you.
{hugs}